Happy Valentine’s Day!
Single and swiping? One in four online daters gets hit with romance scams – and at least two of the cons we’re covering today don’t care if you’re looking for love or not.
Watch out for these 3 romance scams
1. The one where they don’t actually exist
Catphishing is the OG online dating scam. The online world is filled with fake profiles built to manipulate victims. These scams have been around forever.
Scammers steal photos and personal info to build convincing profiles, or use AI to generate completely fictional people. It’s never been easier.
BTW, could you… spot a fake image? Take this quiz to find out. Don’t feel bad if you can’t: it’s increasingly difficult to tell if an image was AI-generated.
Red flags: They avoid video calls, give vague or contradictory life details, and declare love after a week of texting (classic “love bombing”).
Listen to: Mary (J. White) Snags a Catfish, on DeleteMe’s “What the Hack?” podcast, and meet Seattle marijuana chef Mary J. White, who matched with a “retired cardiologist” on Bumble, a man who sent courtly messages but sounded weirdly young before calling to ask for money from… Dubai.
2. The one where you’re about to get rich
Nasty name, nastier scam. AKA crypto scams.
The term comes from an analogy comparing the initial phase of gaining the victims’ trust to the fattening of pigs before slaughter. No matter what you call it, there are four phases you need to know about:
- Gain trust (usually after catfishing you first)
- Sell the “smart” crypto investment or other hard-to-trace play
- Show fake “gains,” usually on a fake finance app, so you invest more
- Vanish with your money
While scammers pose as business mentors, networking contacts, or casual friends, these scams usually come pre-loaded with romantic vibes. A guy I know got hit after an introduction from his regular delivery driver.
This is getting worse. Scammers can now buy ready-made pig butchering kits, complete with stolen photos, fake websites, victim-tracking software, and everything else needed to take a target from “intrigued” to “in debt.”
Listen to: Shreya Datta’s Crush Creeps Off with $450,000 on DeleteMe’s “What the Hack?” podcast and hear how tech executive Shreya Datta met a “French wine trader” on Hinge who spent months sending flirty emojis and selfies before conning her into a fake crypto investment that in the end cost her $450,000.
3. The one where they have photos of you
Sextortion remains one of the most common types of romance scams.
But now it’s getting weird. A sextortionist doesn’t even need you to send them compromising images. They can make their own.
How it works: a scammer finds a photo of you online, fabricates explicit content (fake text messages, images, or videos) and threatens to expose you to employers, family, and the public, unless you pay up. And yes, this can happen out of the blue. You’ve never communicated with the scammer at all, and bang.
Listen to: Paul Raffile on the Sextortion Economy, and hear how Raffile and his team set a trap for sextortion scammers using a fake gift card website to capture a criminal’s exact location, and then flew to a remote Nigerian town to confront the scammer face to face at his barbershop.
Smart People Fall for Romance Scams, Too
Too smart to fall for romance scammers?
Survey says…. probably not. In fact, highly educated individuals are more vulnerable to becoming victims.
Most scams succeed because they take advantage of the human desire for connection. Anyone can be targeted whether or not they have a dating app account or even a social media account–they might just feel alone. Sometimes that’s all it takes to respond to a message from someone you don’t know.
And, you’re probably tired of hearing this, but AI is, of course, making these scams appear very real in a way that wasn’t possible a few years ago.
New research shows that AI chatbots can handle the trust-building phase better than humans. In one study, participants trusted an AI chat partner more than a human one, and were more likely to follow its requests (46% vs 18%).
Protect Your Heart (And Your Wallet)
Scammers often research their targets before making contact.
The less personal information about you that’s publicly available, the harder it is for them to create a trap you’ll actually fall for.
If you’re a DeleteMe customer, you’ve already reduced your digital footprint, making you a less attractive target for romance scammers who mine data brokers for victim information. If you don’t currently use DeleteMe, you may want to check out our DIY opt-out guides.
Some additional ways to protect yourself:
- Use a masked email or phone number when signing up for dating apps (or any online service, really). DeleteMe offers both masked emails and masked phone numbers.
- Watch out for “emergencies” that require money, e.g., the person talking to you claiming they have a sick family member, a legal problem, or travel expenses to finally meet you.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it more than likely is.
Stay safe out there, and happy (scam-free) Valentine’s Day.
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